Relationship advice can come from different sources such as friends, family members, blogs on the internet, or even strangers you just met. However, not all advice will be fitting and good for your relationship – some can damage everything you’ve worked hard to achieve.
The advice given to you can be inspired by experience, love, or even jealousy. Naturally, people want to have apart to play in other people’s relationships. If you are vulnerable,a lot of bad tips and tricks may be passed to you.For example, while aquote like “Age is just a number” may sound great in theory,you may come to find out marrying a person 30 years older may not be the right thing for you
In the interest of helping you to avoid taking any bad advice at face value, we have compiled this list of bad dating advice you should never listen to. Go through them, think twice and hard before you act.
1) Always Play Hard To Get
This advice is mostly passed to women, telling them to act busy and ignore phone calls if a man is interested in them. This game can be played either online or in-person, but dismiss it; the results can be very negative.Naturally, people will like those who seem to like them back. It’s called reciprocal liking.
This trick can be very discouraging in modern times where people are busy and don’t have all the time to chase you around.Plus, the dating game nowadays is very competitive, you might end up alone if you continue playing this game.When you get interest from people who want to date you and have a relationship,you should show some little interest back.
2) Keeping Quiet is the Way to Go
Staying quiet or giving the silent treatment will build up issues over time.When the pressure becomes too much, the explosion may break your relationship. Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. However, they should be resolved as they occur. Staying quiet or failing to call and text when an issue comes up is pretty unhealthy – and immature.
Never suppress your issues and feelings when things are not the way you envision them. Make a point of talking to your partner in a mature manner. Furthermore try to understand their perspective to avoid being selfish to your interests.
As a good practice, if you are angry, make sure you’ve calmed and cooled off enough to be able to talk genuinely. It is also important to avoid playing the victim card when resolving issues. Making your partner feel guilty will make them more defensive.
3) Opposites Attract
While, admittedly, you can’t find someone exactly alike, finding and dating someone completely opposite is not the way to go. While “Opposites attract” sounds great in theory, it may prove difficult to date someone whose interests and personality don’t match yours. This has actually been proven through science that opposites are not perfect for serious relationships.
Your relationship is very likely to be uninteresting and with conflicts because everyone wants their own way. Imagine dating a man who is so deep in sports while you like doing outdoor activities like hiking? How would that turn out?
Truly, at first or in the early days of a relationship, opposite’s qualities may be intriguing and attractive but after a while, they would get irritating since your views are different. In the interest of having a healthy lasting relationship, avoid such advice.
4) He / She Will Eventually Change
Being told to commit and get married to someone whose qualities and personality traits is not right for you at the time, with the hope they will change later, is one of the worst advice you can take. Your partner’s change will not be influenced by time, it can only be done by them accepting they have a problem and committing to the process of changing.
If you want a relationship that will last the test of time, make sure you find someone with the qualities you desire. Note: there are some personalities that will never change and if you get married going back is hard.
5) Age Is Just a Number
It is a fact that relationships in which lovers are closer in age tend to be more successful and they are happier, this is not the case when the age gaps are huge. This is because your interests such as sporting activities, music and hobbies tend to be closely aligned unlike when one of you is much older.
If the gap is wide, one may have undergone through some stages earlier and currently; they may not be able to relate to some things. These may affect how you understand each other; some behaviors may be considered childish while others may be considered for the older people.
Lastly, your partner may be unable to interact and hang out with your friends due to the age differences and factors surrounding age groups. Can you imagine an older person finding Snap chat, Tinder, doing online YouTube challenges and Instagram stories cool?
Look, if you are going to date online, be cautious not to land a much older or very young partner – people tend to lie about their age.
6) Make Your Partner Jealous
This advice is mostly given to people who have just started dating and are looking to get into a serious relationship. The most absurd thing about this tip is that it doesn’t follow the symmetry of logic.
How would making someone jealous make them want you more? Truly speaking, won’t it even just push them away since it portrays you as an undecided and uninterested person? Instead of increasing your chances of being together, this advice is more likely to make you remain lonely and single.
Making someone jealous may even put you into an uncomfortable relationship triangle which also increases your chances of missing out on the person you want.
7) Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
There is not a single perfect person for you anywhere; in fact, this is a ridiculous piece of advice. Everyone has their flaws and shortcomings and so do you. Why should you expect others to be perfect while you are not?
If you understand this, you may realize that your partner is great. For your relationship to be strong and lasting, accept and invest in it.You May find family and friends telling you not to invest too much in your relationship, but put as much effort depending on how serious you want it to be.
Following such misleading advice may bring out insecurities, you can’t serve two masters at the same time. Serve and cultivate what’s yours.
8) Keep Waiting, He’ll Propose Eventually
After reading this you must be wondering why this advice is given by people? What gives them the confidence to predict your partner’s actions? Waiting for such an eventuality is not advisable; what if it fails to materialize?
Instead of waiting for him to propose, try and find ways to encourage him to do so or find out if he is planning to do it.This can be done by having a subtle marriage talk or asking timeline marriage questions. Remember, if your relationship isn’t moving forward, you are wasting your time.
9) Giving or Withholding Sex As a Form of Power
Basically, being distant and aloof when you’ve already committed to a long term relationship is not advisable. It affects your partner and makes them think you are uninterested in them.
In fact, and this goes even for married couples, withholding intimacy to use it as either as a reward, gift or to punish your partner can be a recipe for disaster. Making it a reward removes the lightheartedness, fun, and satisfaction associated with it. Moreover, if your partner gets impatient and unfulfilled, they may be influenced to cheat which can bring your relationship to a very low point.
Remember, sex should be natural and spontaneous; it should never be used as a tool for power. Are you trying to make love or win a diplomatic deal?
10) A Baby Will Re-Spark Your Relationship
A baby comes with joy, more responsibilities as well as stress. Thinking about it, a baby won’t solve conflicts you didn’t address early; it will only offer additional distractions.
What most people don’t understand is that a baby comes with its own demands. Your partner will start taking more of the mother’s role at the expense of the wife’s role. Since mostly of this advice is given to couples without children, your partner may find it difficult to balance the two roles at first.
You should aim to address the root of problems causing conflict in your relationship and avoid using a baby to cover them. In fact, instead of using a baby, why not undertake a common long term project together to improve your bond. It will improve your qualities like working together and communicating, plus if the results are good they will come with bundles of joy.
Note:the responsibilities and commitments needed to take care of the baby, can add more to your initial conflicts. They reduce the attention and time that both of you give each other.
11) Divorce Is the Solution for Most of Your Problems
Most people will enter into a relationship and get married with the notion that divorce will always offer a way out. When you get married, you are bound to lose the initial spark and ecstatic lovingness that made you commit. It is normal since you will be around each other more and interest fades, it happens to almost everybody.
The truth about divorce is that it is a long traumatizing and emotionally draining process, it leaves you very low. This can be both financially and emotionally.If you are in a stable relationship with divorce as a safety net, you might as well quit before things get too serious.
Indeed “falling in love” and dating is temporary; the period that follows after it is where true love begins. Holding onto your partner and overcoming this stage is the best thing you can do.
12) Just Get Married
Marriages are designed to last forever. Before committing, make sure you are ready. Readiness can be in financial, physiological and emotional terms. Some people are ready in their 20s, 30s or 40s, we are all different.
Don’t be pressured into a marriage because you’ve reached a certain age or your relationship has been going on for a certain amount of time, do it when prepared. Before deciding to get married, make sure you know yourself enough as well as your partner.
Your decision to get married should also not be influenced by others doing it.Before jumping the broom, ask yourself;would you rather get married at the right time or to the right person? .Always follow your intuition and avoid following the script of life. It is not customized for everyone.
13) Always Make Yourself Available
It is good to find time to be with the one you love, but you can’t always be available. The truth of the matter is that we all got responsibilities and commitments which shape our lives. Do not cancel your important engagements such as meetings to make time for dates.What happens when you can’t keep up?
What you should do is communicate early if you can’t make it or make it up to them by rescheduling your date. Mostly, they will understand.
Furthermore, prioritize quality time over quantity time. It will make your heart grow fonder. As much as you shouldn’t be too available, also understand your partner and respect their time. Do not invade their space too often.
Most of the relationship advice given to you may be intended to help you but it may not be true. No one knows as much about your relationship as you. Don’t dismiss advice but evaluate it before acting.
The above tips are meant to explain and teach you about bad relationship advice hence help you to dodge them.